The decision to sail up the Golden Horn

August 29, 2011 § Leave a comment

The decision to sail up the Golden Horn on a Saturday morning in August was very bad:  there turned out to be no boats before 11 — and thus my plan to be on an empty boat was nuked.

(People on holiday all follow the same manual which states clearly, rule 11.16, that even when on holiday one must sleep in on Saturday; Saturday mornings are therefore the best time to be alone in public in August; though, obviously, not if the boat company refuses to cooperate.  I was checkmated).

So, I ended up with a bunch of people on a Saturday morning, which really was too bad.

And even worse: either because by the emergence of some strange eddy in the principles of chance (which brought out more ugly people onto my boat than would otherwise have been the case — and well in excess of the usual statistics);  or because by the power of chemistry which alters one’s perception according to where one is in his menstrual cycle (hey, who says men do not experience menstrual cycles?) I was rendered more acutely sensitive to what may in fact have been ordinary levels of ugliness; or both.

Whatever the reason, I found myself suffering from visual abuse:

I have found myself surrounded by a multitude of people who gave the impression of having been shaped out of some kind of primordial green goo with several brutal blows of the blunt end of a stone axe.

Is it really possible for people to look like this?  Can nature really produce such misfits? Isn’t there some kind of a quality control mechanism which might prevent such cases from arising and put them to the hammer before they see the light of day?  Cannot a mother, having taken a peek at her newborn, take it back to Customer Service and ask to exchange it for something better?

And should such people be allowed to walk openly in daylight?  Should there not be out there some sort of licensing or permitting mechanism which says, no, Mr Jones, no, you are not allowed out into the street with your face, not on Saturday.  Please go right back in and rethink it.

There really should, shouldn’t there.

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